I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
