our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
