ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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