It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
