Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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