so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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