Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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