Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
