Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
barbara walters just said penis...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i now understand why vodka
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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