I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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