I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
