my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
