Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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