capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
