Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
