Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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