I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
