What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
