Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
