I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
