Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize