she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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