My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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