i will never coherently bang her
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
