I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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