my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My vagina is officially offended.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
