are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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