he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
