she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
