Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Please don't give away my fajitas
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
