i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need water and some morals
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
