Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
