and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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