It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
