Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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