we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I skipped work to stalk him.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
