my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
