thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
