How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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