please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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