so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
