Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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