He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am available for nakedness
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
