marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
