do herpes really smell.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
