OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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