I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
