No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
