omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
