I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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