I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
