you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
