i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize