I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
