so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
