There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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