At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize