Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We're too hungover to prance.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
