Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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