I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
