Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
