I only kidnapped one of them. chill
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
