So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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