You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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