im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
