Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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