I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
