He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
