But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
