Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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