She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
