do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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