glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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