Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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