i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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