bring money and cleavage
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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