I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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