I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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