She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
