if i died would you start the facebook group?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
