check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
