Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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