If i come over, it means nothing
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
