I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
