do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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