I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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